Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
