Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
