So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
