Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize