I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize