Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
