I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
