It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
