She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
