just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
