...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
