Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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