The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
