im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
