so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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