Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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