They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
