If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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