Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
