Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
