Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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