I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
