Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
