Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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