she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
