If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
