I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
