margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
