Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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