I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
