from now on my penis is your penis
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
