How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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