I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize