Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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