remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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