just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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