good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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