I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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