How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
