Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize