hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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