I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
