is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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