I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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