Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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