You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Drunk is not a location!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
