The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
