I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
