drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
