In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
