You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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