She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
