whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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