I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dear god my vagina.
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