u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
