If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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