He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
