Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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