she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
