"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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